Time to Catch up! Oh, and some random thoughts...

Wow, right now I am doing my final duty in ISS for the year! Woohoo!

It has been quite a year and I couldn't have done it without God and prayers from His faithful servants. I honestly don't know how people can do certain jobs without guidance/peace/strength from the Holy Spirit. I definitely know that there is no way I could do my job without those things.

Last week was so incredibly difficult that I honestly wasn't sure I could force myself to come into work this week. I had kids cuss at me and disrespect me in ways that really taxed my spirit. There were two buses driving kids home from school that had windows shot out of them (and a little girl I've known her entire life had her head leaned against the bottom half of a window that had the top half shot out!). And Friday morning there was some sort of strong chemical odor in ISS that left me feeling dizzy/strange for quite a while...very scary (don't know if a kid did that or not). Needless to say, I am ready for summer!

So now I am looking forward to getting caught up on my bible study (makes me smile just to think about it), cleaning my house (doesn't make me smile quite as much), and generally having some fun time.

My youngest daughter is graduating high school on Saturday. I honestly haven't had time to fully process that in my mind, so at some point my friends/family may see me break down in tears at what that means.

My husband's paycheck is still being cut by 25% (I think I'd mentioned that before) and so we haven't been able to get K a graduation gift, or her birthday gift from April either. K isn't too happy about that. Of course, neither am I. D said he might have some extra on his paycheck today (crossing my fingers that I see a larger number in the bank account when I check it later today).

Next week things should be so much easier. Please God make it so...

God Made Me a Birthday Cake

God made me a birthday cake!! Could there be anything cooler?!?

Today is my birthday. Usually, I spend my day being sad because the people who are supposed to love me the most sometimes don't even remember that it is the day that our society deems as your special day. And it wouldn't be so bad really, but people always ask the question I hate...what did he/she/they do for you? Or...what did you get? Or..where did you go? Or all of the afore mentioned questions. My mother seldom even remembers to call me...and I'm her first born! And it gets old having to answer "oh nothing, but that's ok". Because it's usually not ok. People give me that look that says they feel sorry for me and it leaves me wondering..why doesn't my family value me? Do they love me?

But enough of that whining! That's not why I'm writing this post. I'm writing it because I just have to tell you what my heavenly Father did for me today.

This morning I felt strong. I had resolved that it really was ok if my mom didn't call me (that's the thing that usually hurts most). I reminded myself that God has given me SO many other family members that do love me, mainly my sisters in Christ. I have several "moms" that make sure I'm taken care of. Most people only have one!

I had also decided that even if no one else was going to take care of me, then I would. If I wanted a pineapple upside down cake (my favorite cake in the world that my mom used to make), then I was just going to have to go home and make it myself. After all, I love to cook anyway. So I decided to make it a great day.

Then it happened. I was walking through the hall with my daughter and my friend Elsie saw us. She joked with us asking if we had hall passes and my daughter said that I didn't have to have a pass today because it's my birthday. Elsie, an incredibly amazing woman of God (and one of my "moms") excitedly told me happy birthday and gave me a big hug. Then she said "Oh! You should go get some of the cake that I made. It's in the teacher workroom. I don't know why I made it, just because... It's a pineapple upside down cake".

Thank you my heavenly daddy for remembering my birthday. Thank you for Elsie who you used as your instrument to make me a cake. It was sooooo yummy! Thank you for reminding me how much you love me. I love you too!!!

Editing to add...

If that had been it, it would have been amazing enough. Even though it really was going to be ok if my mom forgot my birthday, it still would've been better if she had remembered. And she did. Not only that, but when she called to wish me a happy birthday she said she needed to bring something over to my house. A few minutes later she showed up at my door with a warm out of the oven pineapple upside down cake (I honestly didn't not think she remembered that it was my favorite...and it was SO good!), a card and money to get myself a gift. I already thought I'd been blessed enough, but God chose to multiply my blessings. Our God truly is an AWESOME God!

Just another benefit of my measly paycheck...

I LOVE my job. It may not always seem like it considering some of my posts, but I really do. I always wanted to be a teacher, since I was very young. And while I know that I could've done it had I motivated myself to do so, for now anyway, I'm "just an aide". When I started this job last year, I had plans of eventually finishing college, getting my degree, and getting a "real" teaching job. But these days, more and more, I feel like I'm exactly where God wants me to be.

I am a special education inclusion aide. Inclusion kids are the ones who need a little extra help, but can still function, for the most part, in a regular education classroom. As an aide I fill in the gaps when the regular inclusion teacher can't be there. I am an extra person in the classroom while the main teacher teaches. And it doesn't really matter if I know the subject matter or not. In fact, last year I was learning (or re-learning) right along with the kids.

I travel from classroom to classroom all over the school, but mostly I work with 6th graders. However, if there is a need for a warm body somewhere else in the school, I'm one of the first ones they call to fill in there too...like doing the breaks for the person who works in ISS (in school suspension) or working in ISS all day like today. So I never really know for sure what I'm going to be doing or where I'm going to be doing it. And in a way, that's very cool. It's kind of like the job of being a child of God. I never know where the boss or the Big Boss will send me.

God has taught me more than I can even tell you since I've worked here. I've learned that I can make plans, but that doesn't mean my plans will actually come to fruition. I've learned about humility because I'm not the lead teacher and therefore don't get to make decisions about how a child is taught. I've learned that God can often use me in ways I never would have thought about. I've learned to focus on God and have peace even in some scary situations. "Ok, you'll be with the boy with the ankle bracelet today (police monitoring device) and don't touch him because he might haul off and hit you. Oh, and don't call him sweetie or dear or anything like that because that makes him angry too" (that's what I heard my very first day on the job). I've learned that when I worry that I'm not going to be able to do enough to help someone, it's not about what I can do. I've learned that it's about what God can do.

In the last 2 years I have been blessed beyond measure. By the grace of God, I have been able to show respect in the face of disrespect allowing me to calm down angry children. The Holy Spirit has led me to pray with and encourage teachers who are frustrated and overwhelmed. The love God has for me has inspired me to love and pray for children who can be the hardest to love. The joy that God has put into my heart has spilled out helping others to smile and feel better and earning me the nickname "Joy Fairy" by one of my students. I've experienced all of this and so much more as a result of where God has placed me.

My job doesn't pay much. It won't even cover my house payment. Thankfully, God has given my husband an income that will cover most of our bills. But it's like I say when the teachers talk about the mounds of papers to grade, paperwork required to be done by the school, and parent meetings...each of the things listed in the paragraph above are..."just another benefit of my measly paycheck".

ISS

Can't I just let them all (all 26!) go home early today since they've been so nice (yeah right...lol)?

NOT!

After almost 2 1/2 hours in this room, I am really glad this day is about over!

Germophobia

Germophobia: An apprehension concerning germs. Someone who has such a concerns is often referred to as a "germophobe" or "mysophobe". This phobia's concentration is on the destructive nature of germs, bacteria and other microbes.



That's the way it is defined on Germophobic.net (I hate putting a dot after dot net, so I am adding parentheses here). I just found out there is such a site..lol.



I haven't always been a germophobe. I think it's really only since I've worked in the school system that I have given myself that new label. Working with kids, particularly special ed. kids, can give you a whole new perspective on how germy your surroundings can be. I see the way kids cough or sneeze without covering their mouths and noses. I wonder sometimes if their parents ever taught them how to cover their faces, and then I remember my own 17 yr. old daughter who doesn't always do so.



This week has the germophobe in me especially aware though. Swine flu is all over the news. A school district that borders ours has shut down completely. And here I sit on potty patrol (thank you Lord this is the last day!!!) which means I occasionally have to go into the girls' restroom with the girls (to make sure they're not talking about the test). I usually won't step foot into the kids' restroom and this morning I had to go in to check on a girl who was coughing like crazy and telling me she feels horrible. Yes, I feel bad for her, but can you say ICK!?!



One of my co-workers has an allergy cough and I keep saying "get away from me swine flu!" I have my mini-can of Lysol and I'm afraid it may run out before the end of the day. I also have a large bottle of hand sanitizer, which is good because I heard that a CVS completely ran out of hand sanitizer yesterday. I know why!



I have a slight headache and I think my throat is getting scratchy...have I mentioned that I'm also a bit of a hypochondriac?

20 Questions..

1. Will someone please come rescue me from being on the potty patrol?

2. Will I get swine flu?

3. Was there really enough reason for the district close to us to shut down completely over swine flu?

4. Was that last question rambling and did it make sense?

5. Can these kids really handle another day of silently taking tests?

6. Will the hallways look as C.R.A.Z.Y. when we let them out today as they did yesterday?

7. Will teachers/students really come to school tomorrow if the news about swine flu gets any worse?

8. Will the style of boys wearing their pants sagging half off (or all off) their bottoms ever.go.away.????????

9. Should there be a period after the word "away" in that last sentence before the question mark and would it lose its emphasis if it weren't there?

10. Could my questions get any more random?

11. How many more hours are there till tomorrow at 4pm?

12. Will we all float away in the rain we're having now?

13. Should I get up and go into the restroom so that the 3 girls waiting can all go at once?

14. Was I nice enough that I did let the girls go, or are they still waiting?

15. Should I have had one more cup of coffee this morning?

16. Do teachers want summer vacation more than students?

17. Is there really another hour till lunch time?

18. Will they have real Dr. Pepper when lunches are delivered today, or just diet?

19. Is hand sanitizer enough after picking up that restroom pass that dropped on the floor just now?

20. Was this the most incredibly boring post ever?

This Week

~~It's the MOST wonderful time of the year!~~ It's that time of the year when teachers and children alike want to be at school the most! TAKS time! Woohoo! Love it!



And now for the truth...



UGHHHHH...I don't think there is a time that teachers or students in Texas dread more than TAKS time of the year. Ahhh, state mandated testing... Teachers are stressed, hoping and praying they taught the kids well enough for them to pass and kids hope they can remember well enough what they have been taught. Personally, I am really glad I don't have to be in a classroom when testing is happening as I've heard it can be very stressful.


I get to be a restroom monitor, which means I sit next to the restroom and make sure only one child goes in at a time to make sure they don't discuss the test. I'm on the potty patrol. And that's where I'll be for the rest of today, tomorrow, Thursday and Friday, all.day.long.


It's going to be a long, long week. But hey, at least there will be time for blogging!